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When ‘Pushing Through’ is not the answer!

Image result for free image of pushing up hillLife is busier than ever before- we live in a world where you are contactable, connected and ‘on’ 24/7. And our to do lists, never seem to get completely tick off!

Amongst this crazy busy, you can easily fall into the habit of ‘pushing through’.

Do you feel like this?

You push through your day, your job, responsibilities, emotions and more. Even through illness. Who has time to be sick, right?

We even try and push through burnout and exhaustion…

We say to ourselves….

” Oh, if I just finish this job and get this done, then I can rest”. But does this EVER happen?

OR, perhaps you say…

” I’ll just push through the next few weeks of my unrealistic workload, then its my holidays, I’ll relax then!”

But do you? Do you find it hard to truly unwind- it takes you a few days or even a week to start to feel really relaxed?

Or often you go on vacation, only to end up so run down and sick, you spend half your holiday wound up on the couch or bed with a terrible virus?

The thing is, you cannot keep pushing through. Your mind, body and spirit cannot keep running this marathon ( yes, that’s what it can feel like) repeatedly, without refuelling and re-energising. Ask any athlete and they will tell you this. But in life, you seem to forget ( or even repress) this simple fact of balance, rest and restore.

You seem to think that ‘pushing through’ is the answer to the end of that to do list, then rest and peace will come.

But guess what?…..

That time sadly never comes, does it?

What really comes is more burnout, exhaustion, overwhelm, anxiety, brain fog, irritability….shall I go on? I think not, you get the picture here.

Often at the base of it all, it is our need to feel validated and recognised. That all this doing means you are achieving things and you’re important.

Trust me, I really do understand. I say all this without complete judgement as I was a classic ‘pusher througher” ( yes, I don`t think this is a real word??!). In fact I use to wear this title as badge of honour. But my health both physically and mentally paid a big price and it was this very pattern that keep me stuck there.

Even recently over the last couple of months, with the personal challenges I’ve been faced with and the process of selling our home to pursue a big family lifestyle change has seen this habit of ‘pushing through’ trying to sneak back in.

But I’ve said a resounding NO!

Now, the thing is, life sometimes throws you big life ‘stuff’ and you have to just put the head down, bottom up and simply get on with it- for example; a health crisis of a loved one or a major work or personal crisis of some sort. It happens. but we come out of it and life should settle down to a more cruiser speed, right? But what most of us are doing, is operating our lives at this level, every day, 7 days a week and you don’t go back into our ‘cruise control’ mode. If you do, its not for very long.

So what did I and can you do? 

Well the most important thing to do is get very clear and realistic about you can and cannot do.

  1. Set clear boundaries
  2. Recognise when those little signs of fatigue and irritability sneak in, pull back and simplify. These are messages your body is sending, so its important to start listening!
  3. Step up self care practices. For me, that’s; more baths, early to bed, sleep, resting whenever and however I can and being kind to my self.
  4. Pull back on too much exercise- do gentle exercise like slow walks, yoga etc. For some a hard workout or run is a wonderful stress release but make sure it doesn’t deplete you. Remember you want to restore not aggravate.
  5. Commit to longer and daily meditation, along with diaphramic breathing.
  6. Up my liver support. Your liver handles your hormones and stress, so when under pressure your liver works harder. So minimise liver loaders like caffeine, sugar, alcohol etc.
  7. Minimise distractions like social media.
  8. Focussing on the task at hand, not getting stressed or anxious about what else ‘needs’ to be done. Just deal with things as you go.
  9. Keeping my food intake still real, yet simple rather than opting for convenience out of a packet or take away. Yes, a few take away meals have snuck into my diet more than usual, but I’m not being rigid or berating myself, just mindful of fuelling my body right.
  10. Here’s my biggest one…. I ask for help! If I need to ask for assistance, delegate or outsource, then so be it! I can’t do it all ( even though I use to think I could) and no matter how capable I am or think I am, its actually more a sign of strength and resilience to reach out and ask for help, when needed.

There is no medal, reward or prize for ‘pushing through’ the furthest. No joy or peace at the bottom of the do list, just a big pile of  “oh, I’ll just have to do this all over again tomorrow and the next…”

So ask yourself….

Is this me? 

How do I feel?

Is this really working out for me?

If you’re saying a vey exhausted and resounding YES, then take a look at this list I’ve provided. Don’t try and do everything. Just choose one thing. Just one, that resonates and sounds achievable for you. Then try it. Give it a chance.

Always remember. one step at a time. you want to break this patterns of ‘pushing through’  not add to the overwhelm. Remember that desire to be validated and recognised for doing and achieving things?

Well guess what?

YOU ARE DOING ENOUGH!- you really are.

If you wish to seek more guidance or assistance in this area then contact me now for a FREE no obligation consultation and start removing the habit of ‘pushing through’ today.

 

 

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